“You get justice in the next world; in this one you have the law.”
~ William Gaddis
I’m not angry at her; it’s hardly her fault at all – what she has become. I am angry at myself, at her monster of a sperm donor, and at the failed juvenile courts system of the United States of America. I am angry at the useless social workers who weren’t paying any attention to what I told them when I reached out for help with her so long ago; I am angry at the many handfuls of children’s services that miserably disappointed her needs back then; I am angry at the laughable façade called the JUSTICE that remains only through legend and lore.
I am angry at the judge who has sat back for over six years now and watched with a wretched smile as my only child has been spiritually battered to death under her “care”; I am angry at the court-appointed legal representative that gets paid to protect my daughter’s rights as a clueless child in the midst of a heinously constructed legal process; I am angry that my community doesn’t give a shit about my daughter’s demise; I am angry at the various grown men (at least one of them, an employee of above mentioned failed court system) who saw it fitting to have sex with my underage child, beginning when she was only eleven years old.
I am angry at the case worker who claims to love my daughter and truly care for her…she is undoubtedly the BIGGEST piece of shit breathing air at present – the one who could and should have stopped many things many times, but didn’t. I HATE HER. And, I hate nobody else in the Universe.
Ah, the insatiable façade…
of a government organization,
charged with the ongoing care,
of a child’s overall “protection”,
and look at the job they’ve done!
Producing mass demoralization,
burning without consideration,
crushing and burying memories,
fueling the hatred inside of me,
thriving within the destruction,
so many of my moments: stolen,
spiritually drowned and chopfallen,
hiding like cowards behind,
the safe-guarded legal confines,
professional rape of the mind,
is defined in some subsection,
of a somehow “acceptable”,
and despicably procedural,
part of systematic separation,
then perpetual alienation,
and completely legal,
the picture in full,
strikes the eye as odd,
an agency playing God,
motivated by sheer evil,
signed in disappearing ink,
no cause for hope,
down with this agency!
Else soon enough,
they’ll own all of us,
in with the afflicted,
and doomed, too,
no light gets through,
tried and convicted,
by a government’s rule,
backed by ignorant fools,
cracked heads affected,
from such a shallow gene pool.
Objective: Seeking full-time sanity and normalcy; but will compromise for part-time or swing shift if full-time sanity is unavailable.
- Will relocate if necessary; given relocation costs are at least reimbursed, in part. (I am willing to pay for this goal out of pocket.)
Birth – 1995: Drug Addict/criminal
1994 – 2001: Wife/hostage to a Psychopathic Murderer
2001 – 2003: MAJOR TRAUMATIC INJURY/long-term hospitalization/countless surgeries
2003 – 2009: Mother/gladiator
2009 – Present: Grieving Mother/local government hostage/ticking time bomb
The reasons I feel that I am a good candidate for sanity and normalcy are pretty straightforward:
- I crave both things deeply and genetically.
- I would not abuse either one in any way.
- Without my achieving one or the other fairly soon, everybody involved better watch the fuck out.