Without Consideration.

Ah, the insatiable façade…
of a government organization,
charged with the ongoing care,
of a child’s overall “protection”,
and look at the job they’ve done!
Producing mass demoralization,
burning without consideration,
crushing and burying memories,
fueling the hatred inside of me,
thriving within the destruction,
so many of my moments: stolen,
spiritually drowned and chopfallen,
hiding like cowards behind,
the safe-guarded legal confines,
professional rape of the mind,
is defined in some subsection,
of a somehow “acceptable”,
and despicably procedural,
part of systematic separation,
court-enforced parental,
public lynching,
then perpetual alienation,
and completely legal,
purely conjectural,
the picture in full,
strikes the eye as odd,
an agency playing God,
motivated by sheer evil,
operated hypocritically,
signed in disappearing ink,
no control,
no cause for hope,
down with this agency!
Else soon enough,
they’ll own all of us,
in with the afflicted,
and doomed, too,
no light gets through,
tried and convicted,
by a government’s rule,
backed by ignorant fools,
cracked heads affected,
from such a shallow gene pool.


Missed Me.


I’ve been walking on wire
high above a horrific crime scene,
looking down at the sheer
size of such a bloody tragedy
the yellow tape is stretching
for miles across the trees
and the vultures circle
widely around
the tight rope
I’ve been walking.
I look down, muted sounds
while little dots of people
mull their ways around
most of them don’t care
that I’m watching
from the air,
but a few, I see
have taken notice of me
magnified by a cross-hair.
They will try to kill me,
they’ve tried so many times
to shoot me down
from the heights I’ve found,
but they can’t seem
to tap that bead.
And so on I look
bullets flying right at me
I do not falter,
just too desperate to see
the object of this circus show,
the victim of this scene…
tell me.
Is it my baby that you
have down there
amongst such a
massive tragedy?
All I want answered
is this simple query
put down the rifles
and answer me.
They know what I’m after
and they know just as sure
that I won’t be going
a damned place without her.
But, I’ve got a shocker
Folded into my sleeve
and it’s something that
none of these cowards are
expecting from me.
This is what happens,
with all of this time
they’ve given to me,
my mind has mapped
its very own crime scene,
and mine’s filled with bodies
of them, not her and me.
from my high place
above the green trees,
and once it’s all done
I’ll climb down finally
Desperately searching
for my only baby…
I know that she’s here
I can hear her calling to me.
But I never could find her
amongst so many
other dead bodies,
she screams to me
The haunt of my dreams.

Rips, Tears and Lullabies

Look at us, there, sitting pretty – all smiles;

photo after photo, flipping through untruth;

the blurry colors in the background,

have fuzzed the edges around me and you.

So much time tossed away seeking the simple;

something I shouldn’t have to choke free from you;

no matter what I want to believe or deny –

I can’t ignore the stabbing in my womb.

You’ve made your decisions, just like I made my own;

Back when life was a highway and my lead foot was down,

When the words between your mouth and mine

might have held meaning as they hung around.

Believe me when I howl at the waxen, pock-marked Lady –

That my intentions only run pure for yours,

That the scars on my skin can only barely begin

To ever describe the horrors.

I’m following tiny footprints down the spiral towards the drain;

In such a disillusioned, unwilling mind frame,

Piles and piles of lies and goodbyes, rips and tears and lullabies;

My teardrops obscure my perceptions abroad,

In a room full of people who only seem to smile or nod;

The fakeness: tangible, as the bills in a fold,

Tucked away, out of sight in a tomb of fool’s gold.

Messy Soot


Thinking back on all the times we’ve had…

to the present moment, everything’s so fuckin bad;

My very existence has turned upside-down…

The road that I was on got sucked underground.


I know that so much of your anger and misery…

are associated directly with thoughts of me;

and there’s nothing I can do to take that away…

but you will see things for yourself, someday.


It used to seem possible, that you’d come back “home”…

but I woke up one day and I’m all alone;

and during the years that have slipped right on by…

The enemy has become your own perceived ally.


Professional schemes to mask the bottom line…

that they could’ve cared less about you – all this time;

I still fight for and against your honor, from years ago…

While you drift away from the only family you know.


I have tried tirelessly to win justice for you…

while The Department takes credit for what’s not real or true;

after years separated, days each spent half alive…

so much life still shines through those beautiful eyes.


A handful of years thrown away – that we won’t get back…

no amount of money in the world could make up for that;

I want you know that I carry a pain that is quite real…

it’s the only thing left that I’m able to feel.


It fills in the void of my resigned, bitter mind…

with memories and thoughts of a much brighter time;

So for a moment, you’re “home” with me again…

the windows are open, and the sunshine pours in.


What was inside my heart that left with you…

it takes away the sense of falling completely through;

It reminds me of those long-forgotten, better days…

when I could reach out my hand and touch your sweet face.


As temporary as it is- gone from this place and time…

without those moments, I’d surely lose my mind;

When I open my eyes, the fog has returned…

and I’m buried beneath all of the bridges you’ve burned.


The curtains drawn closed, the rain pours drown…

and the gurgling of my spirit becomes the only sound;

I wonder if you know that I never wanted it this way…

Where I’m eternally hoping to see you alive again someday;


A circumstance captivated and cultivated through sheer stupidity…

A situation of manipulation in which everyone wins but you or me;

I can’t tell you to forgive the forsaken things you perceive…

I can only tell you how wrong I am been to still believe.


Oneness, stillness…likeness, I’m safe among my own;

no more waiting or starving or searching

no more missing what’s gone.

Core…hollowed out like the belly of a tree;

no longer able or stable or memorable

no more of YOU inside of me.

Failure, nightmares – the pliable fabric of time;

Nobody has a grip quite as tight, quite so right

as yours when you choked the life away from mine.

Tired and weary – wired and teary;

tick-tick-tock, says the fucking clock

And I can’t see or think very clearly.